By Macaulay, Babajide Milton
If after reading the title of this article, you say to yourself, “Not again. Male chauvinists!!!” Then you are indeed a feminist! And this article is specially written for you. As expected, some paragraphs may bore you out because it exposes some of your weaknesses, but if you can manage not to doze off, I assure you that you will pick up one or two lessons that will help improve your personality for good. Well, just to make it clear, I am NOT a male chauvinist. I am just a concerned observer who perceives the recent actions/attitudes of ladies who refer to themselves as feminists, as unacceptable! As usual, my dissatisfaction compelled me to harness this piece of detailed information from all reliable sources to express the opinions I have about feminists!
Now, we understand that certain cultures and religions around the world have not given women the rights they deserve. Some cultures and religions have confined women to the four walls of the kitchen as domestic slaves! Some others treated them as second-class citizens which have led to the advocacy for women’s right on political, social and economic equality with men by the United Nations under the Millenium Development Goals (MDGs). Even till this day, in certain African cultures, female children are still not appreciated! Some husbands also mistreat their wives or replace them if she is unable to produce a male child. Such men in their stupidity and ignorance are not even aware that the ‘Y’ Chromosome which is the needed genetic entity for the creation of a male child is actually produced by them and not by women.
I remember in 2009 during my Industrial Training at a medical laboratory in Oshodi, Lagos, Nigeria, a couple walked in to perform some medical tests – SFA (Seminal Fluid Analysis) and HVS-MCS (High Vaginal Swab – Microscopy Culture Sensitivity) – to find out why they have been unable to procreate. The husband bolstered, “I didn’t want to come here because I am damn sure I am medically okay! It is my wife that needs check-up! You have no idea how much effort I have invested just to impregnate her. I have emptied all my semen into her; pumping her mercilessly from all directions; yet no show!!! Anyway, just to fulfill all righteousness you can still have my semen to be tested. In the end, she will be convinced that I am not the one at fault but she is!” I stood behind the senior med lab scientist who later instructed me to take the EDTA bottles containing the couple’s sample for testing. I headed straight to the Microbiology Lab and used a micro-pipette to place a drop of the cocky husband’s semen on a clean slide and focussed it under an electronically-powered binocular microscope. I was shocked at what I saw. Millions of the sperm cells were not motile indicating that they were either dead or ‘tired’; they could barely swim. I couldn’t stop laughing while documenting the result. The husband had a low sperm count, therefore, could not impregnate his wife despite his turgid ‘John Thomas’ and his merciless aggressive pumping in all directions. The lesson learnt is that a man’s stature or ability in bed does not guarantee his capability to father a child. Unfortunately, the African society has brainwashed most people that once a couple cannot procreate, the woman is the culprit! These various forms of marginalisation and injustice against women has led to the need for them to survive and preserve their kind, thus, becoming proud feminists!
You hear them mentioning the names of Benazir Bhutto, Beyoncé Knowles and Chimamanda Adichie without having a clue about the family lifestyle of these women. Beyoncé sang, “Who runs this world? Girls! Girls!!” and unfortunately, a million gullible ladies took her lyrics literally and then end up treating all the guys around them (including their suitors) like trash without asking themselves if Jay-Z is also being disrespected! Even if the husbands of great Nigerian women like Obi Ezekwezili and Dora Akuiyuli are not popularly known, it does not mean their husbands are irrelevant in the society and subservient to their famous wives! I watched a TV programme where Dora was interviewed. She pointed out that she still cooks for her husband despite her busy schedules but many young ladies won't remember that! All they pay attention to is how to be great and famous; expecting their husbands to be in full support even if some of their lofty desires may alter their ‘natural role’ in the home. What I mean by natural role is your role as a helpmeet (as described by the Holy Scriptures). You are not meant to consciously seek superiority but to help him succeed without losing your personal dreams as well. There are times when the woman’s success will eclipse her husband’s. The way to ensure the natural order of things in such a home is for the woman to display a high degree of respect and submission despite her superior achievement because the man is the natural head (as espoused by many religions). Struggling tooth and nail to take the man’s position will not do her any good but would rather destroy her home. This is why many feminists in history were not able to keep their homes.
Most females believe the only way to break the male superiority over them is to be equally as aggressive as the males. Let us learn from the story of the British women in the 1800s when they were disallowed to vote. The first thing they did was to form a party (National Union of Women’s Suffrage Societies – NUWSS) under the leadership of Millicent Fawcett in 1897. The members called themselves the suffragists and Millicent ensured they followed peaceful, persuasive tactics in actualizing their goals. However, some members of the party felt her approach was too slow and inefficient so they broke away in 1903 and formed their own party (Women’s Social and Political Union – WSPU) headed by Emmeline Pankhurst. Emmeline referred to her members as suffragettes in order to differentiate them from Millicent’s members. The suffragettes adopted violence and destruction, thinking it was a faster way of solving the problem but it only put them in more problems. “Be very careful not to open suspicious parcels arriving by post. On the other hand, do not leave them lying unopened in the house. They should be dealt with carefully and promptly. These harpies (suffragettes) are quite capable of trying to burn us out’ (Winston Churchill’s – the British Prime Minister at that time – note to his wife in Feb, 1913). In the end, it wasn’t Emmeline’s violent tactics that actualized the goal but the peaceful approach of Millicent. The cool, calm, collected but highly focussed approach spearheaded by Millicent, eventually got British women the political liberty they deserved. Millicent coerced the members of her party to build the nation during the 1st world war when the men folks were out in the fields shedding their blood and sacrificing their lives to protect the sovereignty of their nation. The suffragists ended up building roads, bridges (one is still standing today across the River Thames in London) and many other infrastructures in the absence of the men between 1914 and 1918. Finally, in 1919 after the war had ended and peace was restored, the members of parliament in the House of Commons and House of Lords in Britain were astounded by the efforts of the women during the war and they unanimously passed the ‘women suffrage rights law’ not as a result of the stupid violence and aggression by the suffragettes but because of the sacrificial contributions of the suffragists during the war. This lovely story has shown clearly that aggression and extremism will solve absolutely nothing!!!
Male chauvinists will say, ‘It’s a man’s world’ but I will say, ‘It’s a human’s world’ because humans are the most ‘evolved’ animal species on Earth. We should have other animals under our feet rather than enslaving one of our kind (female humans). As much as I do advocate for women redemption, I will not tolerate unnecessary extremism from them. Women need to hear the truth about life, that although they were created equal with men, they are never equal with men in ALL things! Yes, we may have had women presidents such as Gloria Arroyo of Philippines, Sirleaf Johnson of Liberia, Cristina Fernandez De Kirchner of Argentina, Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan, but these women also doubled as wives, subject to their husbands when they get to their homes. This family role of a ‘helpmeet’ is NEVER a servile position as most women these days see it. It is indeed a powerful role for women who can utilize the latent power wisely. A soft and caring wife stands a higher opportunity of controlling subtly, the decisions of her husband, than a fierce and aggressive wife. Aggressiveness and confrontations only weaken the influence women should have over men. If you doubt this statement, ask yourself why the Egyptian Queen, Cleopatra, was so powerful? Even controlling the most powerful man of her time (Julius Gaius Caesar). It is important to point out here that this power shouldn’t be wheeled as a tool of manipulation or else suicidal consequences may follow!
Radical feminism aims to challenge and overthrow patriarchy by opposing standard gender roles, calling for the radical reordering of the society, but this is a cause that will never succeed because most societies rest on the fulcrum of religion. We can only extend certain rights to women but patriarchy is not negotiable, trust me! Ladies should therefore, learn to deal with the truth! Now it is true that in terms of political and professional headship, women have proven to be more effective and efficient than men, it is still not enough grounds for them to question the age-long fundamental doctrines of religions that clearly stipulate who the head of a home should be! I am aware that there are irresponsible men who are not playing their roles as loving husbands and fathers; and in such cases, women have risen up to the occupation acting as both the mother and father. However, these cases, which are anomalous, should not be presented as an evidence for the abolition of male headship. I know most of you would think I am only writing about this because I am a man but the honest truth is that I would still have written this article this way if I was born as a woman because I will respect the roles of men without belittling my role as a woman!
Some feminists are irritated to hear about a man’s superior achievement; it makes them feel powerless and inferior! I was talking to a first class graduate of Accounting from the Covenant University some years ago who happens to be a lady. I asked, ‘now that you have won so many awards, where will you put them?’ ‘Hang them on the walls of my home of course’ then I asked a thought-provoking question, ‘Where will your husband hang his?’ I expected her to say, ‘on the same wall’ but she frowned at me as a way of saying, ‘I don’t care where he hangs his’ as inspiring as she may appear, she had a pugnacious attitude! No wonder most radical feminists don’t have husbands or actually go for men with low self-esteem, making it much easier for them to be manipulated. And as expected, feminists dread the guts of highly intellectual men because such men make life difficult for them!
Remember the aphorism, ‘behind every successful man there is a woman’ Women are natural managers and helpers but are not natural home leaders. This is why the children of single mothers often grow up to become unruly and impudent. Most people picture Margaret Thatcher as a typical role model because she wrestled successfully against her male counterparts, becoming Britain’s first and only female Prime Minister. Do you know that when she died some months ago, so many British citizens didn’t want her to get a proper burial? I know this because I live in the UK currently and heard what the people on the streets had to say about her. Her daily strive to be like a man cost her her personality and then she became a radical feminist who was ferocious and officious to the extreme. She didn’t learn to be diplomatic and it cost her a lot.
Goodluck Jonathan’s cabinet today has more women represented than any other Nigerian government in history. Even in my University (FUTA) we ensured that all student governments (from the Departmental level to the SUG level) elected female candidates strictly for the positions of vice-president and welfare director in order to preserve some form of gender equality in student politics. Despite the efforts of Governments, NGOs and many male folks round the world to ensure gender equality, women still resort unnecessarily to undue aggression and extremism.
Many ladies reading this article are guilty of extremism towards the male folks as a result of their cravings for gender superiority! How? You may ask. Well, I will break it down briefly. Sometimes some of you feel the need to frustrate a guy for no reason, thinking this would make him respect and honour you more. When you suddenly ignore online conversations for no real reason without typing the abbreviation, ‘brb’ or ‘ttyl’ and not even apologizing afterward, instead, telling the guy to f**k off that he doesn’t have the right to tell you what to do. By consciously seeking for control, ladies have turned around the order of gender injustice by refusing to apologise each time they offend a male. Some even tell silly lies just to preserve their over-bloated pride! For example, when your phone rings right before you but you refused to pick it up and then later on, telling the innocent guy that you were busy whereas, you weren’t! And many more silly behaviours which you ladies should remember.
Frustrating a man wouldn’t make him regard you more. It will only make him adopt new skills on how best to deal with you. Be yourself; be a woman, as you can only influence a man through love and never through aggression! Be the woman; be soft and tender, slow to anger, approachable, loveable, respectful, kind-hearted and feminine! Never try to be a man; let the man be the man and let the woman be a woman! When you preserve your nature as a woman, you stand a higher chance of sealing all deals on gender equality but extremism in the defense of gender equality will render the cause worthless!
